Friday, December 18, 2009

dont practice self-critism


For God is greater than our worried hearts
and He knows more about us than we do ourselves.


Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keeps You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing.'s true indeed.. That's the sweet-bitter part of life ;))

Monday, October 12, 2009

jealousy.................will bring you nowhere...

Guys…I’ve gotten a job… Started my first day working on 5th Oct 2009 at UNI Strategic. It was quite great the feeling of finally having a job. However, my job is sucks…I din believe in myself to be able to excel in this job. But…I need money and for sure I WILL excel in this job and got great salary!

Really God, please, not my way but Yours be done. I have my heart broken again. This is quite severe happened in these past few weeks. Seems like everything of mine was taken away by her. I am jealous to her. Help me to be not jealous. Help me please. The guy that I liked, likes her so much. My tuition student was taken away voluntarily by me, stupid me, but I will NEVER regret everything I’ve decided in my life. I referred job to her and she got the better one at the same company with the much much higher pay. I am glad too she finally got her job just that don’t be in the same company and have higher pay pls. This is so heart breaking. Until when everything will be turn wrong to me. Am I the one that caused it by my ownself? I am the one that refer the job to her and now am I regret to do it? honestly, I’m partly regret of doing that. Tell me wicked tell me bad but I’m still human. Gosh. This is so frustating. I received 2 rejection letters from Unilever and Pathlight (Autism school) at the same time she received her job offer letters. Gosh…. This is really a mean coincidence… Wake up Elis, don’t ever give up , storm may seem so hard, heartache may always be there, believing God is there and He is there no matter how far he may seem…. Gosh………….this unfairness is so painful….. She is bragging in my room now!!! and she’s said that she’s not overjoy!!!!! HAIZ!!! sabar sabar….God help me control things that are uncontrollable… Must find other job soon..God oh God who I am without You, don’t desert me please. No, I will never regret with my decision. God Himself that gives us the POWER to get wealth. Nothing can be happened unless it’s permitted by God. I will keep my mouth shut. Keep it in my heart. Only me and Him know it. I know God is testing my character. It’s ok to have less salary. Must awaken myself and use my own talent and ability to the max to get the commission. It’s ok to get less salary, I must start to be confident by my own, independent, and grab the deals. Nothing is ever impossible Elis! I am POSSIBLE!! Elis stand up!!! stand UP!!! U CAN!! if God is with you, who shall against you!!!! The path of the just is like shining sun, shines ever BRIGHTER unto the perfect day!! JIAYOU Elis!!

Come what may~ I believe when God allows it to be happened in my life, there’s something God wants to change in my character. Mold me as Your clay…Forgive me for being jealous etc, I am just Elis, human being too, full of sins as well. I TRUST in You… Yes.. I TRUST in you… Come what may~~ You will be always with me in sunshine and rain…

Love this video so much…check it out~

Everyone has a dream, even Down-Syndrome kids do too………Don’t give up!
I am proud of, my whole life. I am proud of what I am, today.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Dare to Live Elis! Vivere!

Try looking at tomorrow not yesterday
And all the things you left behind
All those tender words you did not say
The gentle touch you couldn't find

In these days of nameless faces
There is no one truth but only pieces
My life is all i have to give

Dare to live until the very last
Dare to live forget about the past
Dare to live giving something of yourself to others
Even when it seems there's nothing more left to give

Ma se tu vedessi l'uomo
Davanti al tuo portone
Che dorme avvolto in un cartone,
Se tu ascoltassi il mondo una mattina
Senza il rumore della pioggia,
Tu che puoi creare con la tua voce,
Tu, pensi i pensieri della gente,
Poi, di Dio c'e solo Dio.

Vivere, nessuno mai ce l'ha insegnato,
Vivere, non si può vivere senza passato,
Vivere è bello anche se non l'hai chiesto mai,
Una canzone ci sarà, qualcuno che la canterà

Dare to live searching for the ones you love
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi questa sera?)
Dare to live no one but we all
(Perché, perché, perché, perché non vivi ora?)
Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché la vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta

Dare to live until the very last
(Perché, perché, perché Ia vita non è vita)
Your life is all you have to give (Perché)
non l'hai vissuta mai

I will say no (I will say yes)
Say dare to live
Dare to live

The rain will surely stop! grass will always be green and sky is always blue~~

hhmm… truly isnt easy.. was sending out my resume all out today until feel so sick of it…wanna throw out…sigh dun like the feeling…was lying on my bed…pretended to fall asleep and hoping myself to sleep and wont wake up again…but in fact God has provided BEST future for me to do, not to runaway from it. Feel like skipping this ‘jobless’ part in my life (I Hate This Part Right Here… song by Pussycat Doll) and jump over to the part where I’ve already super success and living my life happily ever after *fairytale mode on*…but still… I’m just human and I cant do that……….haiz…..

Feeling so negative these past few days… many things and ppl disappointed me so much…my heart failed and I just cant hold my tears…. I desperately need PR… and the only thing I hold on, the only hope left, it even cant give me PR…. felt so cheated by them… dunno what to feel and what to think and what to do alr…. Sat morning 120909 went to JAMs and get touched by the sermon… God is so awesome… He wont ever ever leave you alone struggling…

Psalm 56:8 "You number my wanderings; Put my tears into Your bottle; Are they not in Your book?"

God is interested in my life… He is and He will always be….He collects my tears and not even a drop He miss it…. I love You God and I know and I know for sure that You know EVERY situation I’m going through… Every moment when I feel so tired and feel like giving up…Every moment I complain about disappointment happened in my life…everything you know it all….Thank You so much God… I LOVE YOU so much….

Feels like giving up my last hope in HSBC…just throw out that towel and drop the ball…. until I read somebody’s tweet in tweeter…she said “There's only a thin line between hanging on and giving up; even if it means I'm barely hanging on, I won't cross that thin line - I won't give up”…. yea true…there’s only a thin line between it… so far, I was hanging on…hang on till it disappointed me much…and know when I feel like dropping it so much…I’m thinking…should I or shouldn’t I give it up? same question….same with the question I asked last 3 months….I still dunno and haven’t taken any decision yet…I’m so afraid I’ll take wrong decision…Pst Kong last sat svc said…every decision leads to ur destiny…it can lead u closer or further away… I am so afraid…. God… can I have enough strength to hang in there again? can I ensure myself that I wont be disappointed again? God…lead me to Your way……

Pst Phil just posted a post in his blog that inspired me much.

Isaiah 60:4-5 “Lift up your eyes all around and see: They all gather together, they come to you: Your sons shall come from afar, And your daughters shall be nursed at your side. Then you shall see and become radiant”. I need to lift up my eyes, upgrade my vision, see further, broader, bigger. Not negative and downcast but POSITIVE and UPLIFTING! Not self-oriented but others-oriented.

See before we see. Even before we see it in actual, we already must be able to see it in our mind! Dream our dream everyday. Our imagination is part of the creative process in our life. What do you see in your future? What do I see in my future?.... I must start imagine and dream my life well~~ bcoz what I ‘see’ is what is going to happen…!!

*adopted from Pst Phil Pringle’s blog @

True True True True True!!!! Elis WAKE UP!!!!! Be positive!! Renew your vision!! If God gives u a vision, He will provide a provision for you too!! I must start ‘see’ing myself working in BIG MNC company, great salary min S$2500, great life, great working life, great colleagues, and send my parents some of my salary to them~~ Yea ELIS you CAN DO it!! GOD is ABLE!! If He is WITH you, who shall against you?? NOONE….!!

Facing my life FULL of HOPE, no matter how much wind blowing strongly from other direction, I WILL STAND STILL and STAND TALL!!!

Isaiah 54:14-15 "In righteousness, you shall be established; You shall be far from oppression, for YOU SHALL NOT FEAR; And from terror, for it shall not come near you. Indeed they shall surely assemble, but not because of Me. Whoever assembles against you shall FALL for your sake!"

Yea I shall NOT fear! Stand STRONG and TALL!! I am the HEAD and not the tail, ABOVE and not BENEATH!! I am more than conqueror because HE IS IN ME!~~ Amen.

Monday, August 24, 2009

in the mundane then we can find our calling~~ 2009 is the BEST!! my GOD REIGNS!!

I have been thinking of a lot of things lately. My life, my love, my family, my financial, myself…..Too many things till it forms a mountain already I think ^^

Things are not in the proper way they are supposed to be….anyway I dunno actually how proper is proper since me myself even dunno what I really want for next…..

Looking forward for this coming weekend, being baptized, will have new additional name, Phoebe ;D so happy and cant wait to the day to come….looking back, 2009 is a GREATEST BEST year I had! My FYP was A, I was graduated successfully from NTU, took SOT and endure it well till the end and I have had just graduated from SOT and now I am waiting for my water baptism!!~~ God, You are simply AMAZING!! I should live my life to the fullest. Remembering each day God gives to me is a privilege for me to really live on it. Just like D’ Masiv’s song yg Jangan Menyerah~~ it’s true that everyday is a gift we must keep on persist on Hidup adalah Anugerah~~ what a super nice song that inspired me so much…

2009 is the BEST!!

Away from that, I am lost in the so many roads out there to be chosen. Being me, I should have been able to choose what is the best for me and what is the one that I like most. But,………………………………….. I dun have any choices.. I only have 1 choice which I should take in order for me to continue my life, at least better than if I wont take it. I should just take it and give my best into it… right? I should do that rite? But…… I simply cant set my heart right…. I keep on telling myself that I will be OK and there’s no harm to try it, you can even more than succeed Elis! I keep on telling myself you can get blessed and earn a lot, can pay ur debt, give some to mom and dad, and even I can give to orphan too just as what I always dream about…….. But……. I simply cant set my mood right….. I am troubled and I am not OK…. I cant find any fulfillment from it…….. I just dunno why………… I keep deceiving myself and din listen to my own heart (as I actually also not so sure what I want to be)….God…………. I really want to just run away from all this……………………

pusing….and I dun have anybody to talk…… besties all so busy with their own lives…their school has alr started and I know how busy they are……………I simply dun have someone to talk to…………seems that even though I talk it to others, nothing much will be happened too…Sianz…. I hate transition period…….AaRrgHhhh!!!!!! wanna just shout it out loud!

I need to sit back and think what I actually want for my life….. I did it many times….. still, I cant find any answer about it yet…………. My heart so pain………….. Deep inside my heart, I always fulfilled when my art is great, when I can get someone praise me about my art……..not really art though, just that I like how it is combined and create something nice! Yet, I dun have any confidence in it….. I was wondering why others can excel so much yet I am just Elis……. why ya……… I still haven’t found my calling yet……. somebody just told me that “in the mundane then we can find our calling”……true true…..

FAITH is all about taking RISK! Jiayou Elis!! must be able to see the 4th dimension realm!! see beyond the natural!!

All things work TOGETHER for GOOD for those who loves God~~

This passage of Bible keeps on reminding me of all God’s good work in my life… Even sometimes when I feel like blaming myself, but God is actually using my mistakes and work it out to be so good! God is always Good! ALL the time!!

YESS!! ALL thing works together for GOOD!! I will always BELIEVE and TRUST God for His promises are always TRUE~~ I believe though my situation currently was in a mess….I dun really know what will happen and I am worried if I take wrong decision…BUT, God will always be with me… He will make a way though there’s no way and I believe God is making everything to work together for good for my growth….and when later when I look back I can praise and thank Him for all that He has done in my life.!

GoGoGO Elis!!! You are more than CONQUEROR!! You are the HEAD and not the tail!! ABOVE and not beneath! Yes you are just simply Elis right now but you will be succeed FOR SURE and help others and don’t ever despise the day of the small beginning!! For God always use your every moment of ur life ! He wastes none of ur experience!! I will TRUST the LORD for the path of righteous man is ordered by Him alone!!

Arise Elis!!! Always give ur BEST in doing things!! and Let HIM do the REST for you~~ Amen!!

God is with me who shall against me! Because of You.. There’s no need to fear!!! HOPE steadfast ever SURE!!
Love Ya God with all my heart and power~~ I may easily get my heart failed, but I will be faithful with all my best~ Thanks God for always being faithful to me though I am faithless to You…. You are my LORD who REIGNS in my life! Always!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Jedidiah - for God loves him!

Be a person that God loves!

Look back at your life, have been in a lotof darkness at the darkest time of life, at the death end of the darkest valley...but...JESUS always with me!

He had GREAT plan and purpose for me! He had DESTINY for me!
Knowing that He is always with me!

He can FIND you where you at! He can redeem us from our circumstances!!

ENJOY the journey!! Stay the course!! Keep on TRACK!! Remain STEADFAST!!
Be COURAGEOUS!! Be a good CHEER!!! Life is about what's inside you!
OUTLAST and OUTLOOK devils! Strain POWER!
LIFE is about the SEASONS! Summer, winter, snow, spring, autumn!
Be FAITHFUL in SAILING your life!

Make the MOST of TODAY!!

1 Chron 4:9-10 The prayer of JABEZ

Jabez was more honorable to God than his brothers though he was bore in pain by his mom.

"Oh,that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my teritory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!"

So God granted him what he requested.

* Bless me and enlarge my teritory - Influence of Heaven, BEYOND what men can do!
* Your hand would be with me - Power of Heaven, strengthen us in everything
* Keep me from evil - Protection of Heaven, so that I may not cause pain to who I love in my surrounding.

Pray HARD!! ASK God!! CALL to the LORD!!
Pray -outwardly: wasting time away
-inwardly: being renewed day by day by the LORD!!

He is a man of PRAYER!

JEDIDIAH = the Lord loves him!

BE someone God loves!!!! and let ALL your prayer ANSWERED just as Jabez's prayer!! AMEN!

Monday, June 22, 2009

HaPPinEsS & PeAcE

Finish my interview just now at ard 5pm and having late lunch at Singpost building downstairs. They are NICE people. Hope I made a right choice. HSBC Insurance. I will get the job as soon as I finish all the 3 required tests. Praise God, He'll never leave me alone. Thank You for Your ON time helps. God is always ON time ~ just like what Windy said yesterday in Penguin ferry during our journey back to Spore :)

Feel so peace and happy. I enjoy myself a lot this whole evening till night. Mom also stopped her nags that have been occuring for almost more than a month. So peace that she will never nag at me again, at least for the next few weeks ><>the only way to go through our dark valley is by keep on walking and walking till u went through it.

This job, for sure, will gonna be hard at the start. But, I believe, I'm gonna make it BEST. Help me when I lose my passion. Help me to spark me again. Help me when I feel like giving up. Help me to persist on and endure some more always. Praise God for Your awesome works! Now, Friz even offered me some part-time job. Something that I really desperate about for these past few weeks. I will get it so soon, just like that, in the blink of my eyes. God You are truly my provider! How GREAT is my God!

Job 42:2
"I know that You can do EVERYTHING, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You."

~Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him~

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Joy and Faith!

I just came back from Pekanbaru at ard tired and exhausted...a lot of things happened in there. All the GOOD and the bad. Will never forget the experiences. Built closer relationship to team 12 members, Lily and HuiYu esp. So tired but FUN! A lot of problems occured but we still can laugh and laugh and get HIGH ! XD Love the moments when we laugh at somebody's pants that having hole, laugh at the advertisement on indo tv bout the obat nyamuk bakar vape, laugh about the 15,000 T-shirt that has pic of "stick together" memo, laugh at the "available now" T-shirt, had fun during groceries shopping time in hypermart, had fun when bought dress at number61 shop, had so much much fun eat nasi padang which i like the most, and bought a whole plastic of lombok ijo !!! with 5,000 only !! so fun !!

oh's goin to be 330 am now..tml need to go to sot and have an interview with HSBC with Charles in Paya Lebar @3pm. I believe tomorrow it's gonna be a GREAT day !! I will get so much love and favor from God so that the interviewer also found a favor in me to them. Mom has been so demanding these past few months bout the job. All the BEST for this afternoon interview Elis !! You gonna make it BEST !! God is with you, NOTHING shall against you !!! Amen God !! You 'll help me and be with me and I will be confident and I will surely get the job !! Amen !! Thank You God for the opportunity to have the interview! Thank You for give me the job! Thank You for everything! Thank You for mom let me be what i want to be!. Thank You for your love and mercy. Thank You. Praise the Lord!!

Gonna sleep now. Journey in Pekanbaru last 3 days will be updated soon k. So tired and I need to sleep. Will wake up early tomorrow. Gud nite God. Love You always..............zzzz...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Isaiah 45

2. I will go before you and make the crooked places straight;
I will break in pieces the gates of bronze and cut the bars of iron.

3. I will give you the treasures of darkness and hidden riches of secret places,
That you may know that I, the Lord,
Who call you by your name, Am the God of Israel.

You are my God, whom I obey. Life has been so hard for me. Your promises seem far, tribulations arise from many sides. Hard-pressed on every side. I dont know till when I can survive. Obeying You sacrificing my life. I trust in You. Though I'm not sure which path should I choose. God, hear my cry...

J'adore Gan Eden !

what a title...why i choose this title? after searching for many days, i finally decided to choose J'adore Gan Eden for my blog headline. J'adore = love it, Gan = is a hebrew word for 'garden' symbolizing God's love and favor upon my life, Eden = is 'delight' or also can mean a happiness.

This blog will be full of with my story about ups and downs of my life. My thoughts, my dreams, my feeling, my diary, where I can at least be honest to myself, put down all the mask over me, let go my little fakeness, and be just an Elis.

ya...just Elis... :)

Hope to live my life to the fullest...Be the BEST with God's love and favors being poured down in my delightful life that I love it so much, no matter how it going to be ;) I'm Built to Last !